


I Started A Joke

by TheSenpaiWhoNoticedYou



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Additional Tags to Be Added, Blood, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Character Death, Connie has kinks he wants to share with the class, Definitely gonna write an Erwin and Armin one shot, Dildos, End of Humanity, Eren and Levi are the main ship, Fucking CRAZY plot twist, Gore, Her name means Destruction Goddess Killer Of A Demon, I FINALLY GOT OVER IT, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I literally made myself cry, I searched up creepy baby names, I'll update when i can but no garanteed update schedule, Ive had severe writers block, Jokes relating to drive-by's while in the bedroom, LET THE WRITING COMMENCE!, LITERALLY, LMAO, Levi has a LOT of damn kinks, Levi has a daddy kink, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Multi, My cat is asleep but I'm not :(, People loosing their heads, Probably gonna write a couple of one shots JUST to let out my other ship frustrations, Raven is over a hundred years old, Sasha spills bedroom secrets, She doesn't age, Spanking, This is gonna be intense, Top Eren Jeager, Topping from the Bottom, Whatever Raven wishes comes true, Wtf am I doing, it's gonna be a long ass fic with long ass chapters, jesus has taken over my plot bunnies, kinks for everyone, not even sure how long this is gonna be proly like 30 chapters, proly a Connie and Sasha one too, the plot bunnies have come out and are taking over my head, they will rule the world
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-15 08:30:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4599909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSenpaiWhoNoticedYou/pseuds/TheSenpaiWhoNoticedYou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shiva Raven Desdemona. </p><p>A name built on the sorrows of humanity. It was all her fault.<br/>The titans, the end of the world. Everything was her fault.</p><p>------</p><p>(The Summary is Long so I'll post the rest as the first chapter)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Full Summary

**Author's Note:**

> ATTENTION! I don't necessarily know when you are going to be reading my fic but now that you are, know this:  
> This does contain PRESENT time manga spoilers. I'm talking about volumes 15-16 and a little bit of 17. If you are reading this after these volumes have become old and well known knowledge, just continue reading because you do not need to heed this warning. BUT if you ARE reading this while these volumes are new and have not been read by most of the fandom, please only read this fic if you HAVE read these volumes. Thanx! ☺  
> Also, the first few chapters made me cringe with how much explanation was needed to convey the feel of the story. *laughs while wiping sweat off of my brow* It might sometimes feel a little overbearing but trust me, the actiony, good, juicy parts will come. All good things come to those who wait.  
> ♥〰

Shiva Raven Desdemona.

A name built on the sorrows of humanity. It was all her fault.  
The titans, the end of the world. Everything was her fault.  
...

"Do you know what's going to happen if you keep smoking?" Raven smirked at Zayne. "You're gonna get eaten by some freaking man-eating giant, that's the legend of the smokers. "

The brunette boy looked up from his cigarette, shaking out his hand after flipping the lighter closed.

"Hah, you wish! You need my sexy ass!" He leaned back against the dark alley wall, taking a deep drag while jokingly copying the girls expression.

Raven scoffed, "No I don't! You're so annoying! So I *do* wish you would get eaten." She playfully bumped his shoulder, leaning in to do a playful 'rawr' with her fingers curling in like pretend claws.

Zayne let out a hearty laugh, bending down at the waist to hold onto his knees in hesterics. "Baby you need me, whether you like it or not. And your rawr sucked by the way."

Raven pouted, bottom lip judding out and wide puppy-dog eyes locked on the boy. When he gave no sign of caving and apologizing, she turned her back to him and huffed, a small smile on her face proving that she wasn't actually angry.

She swung back around when she heard a laugh. Her eyes were met with an amused Zayne, his lips pulled into a full blown smile. Rapping her hand over his head, getting a quiet "hey!" in return, she grabbed his wrist and began to pull him out of the alley.

"We came here for your smoke, now hurry up before we don't have time to change into the costumes! This is my first year participating in cosplay! Hurry, hurry, hurry!"

The boy smiled, dropped the killing machine into a small, shallow dirty puddle near by, and followed the hyper girl into the crazy New York City night.  
...

Zayne died that same night. A bite that took his head clean off. 

Funny thing is, it was a man-eating gaint.

It wasn't only him, though. No, Raven watched as hundreds, thousands, millions, died by her monsters hands.  
And while everyone else was chomped up and eaten, she could just walk right through the giants legs, trying everything she knew to stop them.

Nothing ever worked.

She wasted decades trying to find a way to kill them, nothing coming to achieve it's intended goal.

Then she wished.

She wished for a creature powerful enough to kill these monsters, one that would defeat them and leave the small part left of humanity alone.

That's when the Titan-Shifters arrived.

And now, she never wishes.


	2. Bevölkerung War - A World Anew

_Shiva Raven pulled her cloak tightly around her against the snow._ The walk through the forest had been a long one, and she was chilled to the bone. Her hair, which once had been pinned into an elegant bun, had fizzed up and come out, covering an emotionless face. 

Still, the endless white plane beneath her made it so she couldn't leave any tracks, for which she was grateful. Leaving tracks meant that she could be followed, making it almost impossible for her to reach her destination. She was headed for the untouched town of Zilas--the only Z-town there was--where she would stay until the storm let up. 

The continent of Malphas was known for it's bizzards, and being stuck in one was the worst way to spend your traveling days. The storm Raven was currently in was one of the worst she had seen in a while, making it an even worse traveling time. Still, moving at any other time would mean almost certain death, and that was if she made it out of this storm alive. 

The city's and towns of old--once filled with life and prosperous, now held only the remnants and forgotten memories of the previous age. The famous city's of New York and Paris were now only used for their tall structures, keeping the small groups of surviving humans relatively safe and housing the almost non-existant supplies that a rare few could actually find. All continents but Antarctica, lay uncharacteristically barren, one would only find a speck of humanity if they delved into the titan infested city depths, and even then the amount of humans still able to carry on their family name were so few in numbers you might even be diving into dangerous dwelling for nothing but the bones of your ancestors. 

Every town, city, and continent had been renamed based off of the amount of surviving humans successfully sustaining themselves there. Naming a town with the first letter A was considered a danger zone. An A-town was said to be overflowing with titans and none of the remaining humans were permitted to enter it. So the closer the town name was to beginning of the alphabet, the more dangerous. 

Zilas, once the town of Stuttgart in Germany, was named after the dumbfounding discovery of it being untouched by titans. Not a soul knew the reason--it being untouched was even first taken as a myth--until one day one of the surviving men by the name of Redisk Blake, stationed in the untouched town for a whole year, writing about it and then leaving to try and spread the truth of the heaven town to the remaining humans. 

He successfully got the word around before dying at eighty-nine from old age. After, miniscule groups of the remaining people gathered and were sent out to try and inhabite the town, they were to close it off safely and have that inclosure be big enough to grow in numbers and perhaps save humanity from going extinct. This all took place before humanity's main walls were built and before Shiva had wished for her titan-shifters. 

The scouts sent out had only stayed in safe contact with their fellow surviving humans for exactly a month, before suddenly cutting themselves off and disappearing from all known capable safe city's. Rumors started to spread and the groups of the two most believable started to severely fight. 

And thus the Bevölkerung War began. 

Some believed that the groups had been mauled by titans, that one being the most logical and standing as fact to most of the remaining people. Still, some--mostly the open minded people who still had their imaginations rolling, made rumors of the scouts finding secret Z-towns and not wanting to have to share with the remainers, decided to start their own civilizations in the new safe spots. 

The population that believed the scouts had been eaten by titans named themselves the Gerçekçi, while the population that believed they had settled into new Z-towns called themselves Xayoliy. 

The two sides who fought, started to bring large groups of the remaining world population to one place and fighting physical wars. This naturally drew immense groups of titans to the said war spots, bringing an end to the physical wars. 

This did not bring an end to the psychological war, though. In fact, this brought out the worst in the population. People secretly traveling to other safe towns and planting explosives, only to leave and later hear about a piece of the world's remaining population gone, blown to smithereens. Others, sending out large groups of  _children_ and the old to already overflowing safe towns, again naturally drawing the titans to them and laughing when yet another piece of the population vanished off the face of the Earth.

This continued for sixteen years, the remaining humans slowly decreasing, until all but a small group of about twenty thousand remained. This small group named themselves simply, almost too simply, and still most didn't even take to becoming accustom to the name. They just called themselves "Humanity."

Many of them had at first grown outraged, protesting that all had lost their humanity the moment the titans flooded into their world, but after calming and listening to the other's reasons, they agreed to stand under the name. 

Humanity decided that creating some kind of permanent protection from the titans was the best way to start off, so they at first built walls of stone only about fifteen feet high, thinking that no titan was large enough to overcome them. 

And then the fifteen meter titans arrived. 

The walls had stood for six months, making Humanity feel safe and secure, only to be torn down, revealing the very monsters they had given up their freedom for, the beasts who ate them like there was no tomorrow. 

The titans attacked and ended up consuming more than half of Humanity's population.

Forced down to a mere eight thousand people, Humanity grew restless, praying to the forgotton gods of the old world and wishing upon stars that no longer shined. 

While all hope slowly vanished and Humanity finally started to accept that it was their end, Shiva stood back and observed the chaos with watchful eyes. She had already descovered and mastered her power and although she knew all of it's pro's and con's, she still hated using it. Shiva would only use it for small things, such as wishing for more food or a safe place to seek shelter for the night. Never had she wished for something as big as saving Humanity, and yet she still wanted to do so. 

With her destination in mind, on August 10th of the year 765, Shiva Raven Desdemona wished for a monster. A monster who could defeat the beasts who tortured Humanity and killed them for their taste. 

At first, when a human child--not even a day over thirteen, popped up into her shack of a home, Raven knocked her unconscious and pushed her into the only closet she owned. When the girl woke up, she cried and yelled for her father, trying and failing to push open the closet door that Raven had effectively chained shut. 

"Are you a threat?" Was the first thing Raven had asked of the girl. 

One of the only things she had yet to figure out about her power was whether or not the beings that came of it were a danger to humanity or not. Sure the titans were 100% a threat to humanity, but since she had never actually wished for any living creature after said titans, she didn't necessarily know if any one of her creations could be hostile. 

"No! Now  _please,_ " The child hiccuped, breath coming out in short pants."L-Let me o-out! I need to-hic, I need to see my d-daddy!"

Raven listened sceptically as the girl broke down and into hesterics. Did any of her creations have the potential to be the savior of humanity? What did the girl mean by her father? Did she have memories of some lifetime? Could living wishes even have emotions, memories, let alone  _lives?_ What  _was_ this girl? 

"What did you mean by your father? Do you remember anything? Tell me what you remember!" Raven moved towards the closet, unlocking the chain that rapped around and through the handles, then moving back to watch carefully as the young girl tumbled through the open doors. 

"R-Remember? What'da mean by that?" The child had fallen onto the wood floor and was hunched over on her hands and knees, head turned to the side and eyes wide, filled with fear and confusion. 

The girl visibly swallowed, "Where am I? Why did you bring me here?!" Her voice, so young and scared, seemed to push an ancient part of Shiva forward. A feeling she had long ago forgotten the taste of. 

She felt  _sympathy_ for the girl. 

The older woman shook her head, trying and failing to push down the feelings that came with the child, like a box with a bow. She didn't need the pain that came with feelings. She didn't _want_ them, dammit.

"Who is your father?"  _The little girl looked reasonably startled for a small moment, before her eyes became extremely inhumane. They slit,--like a that of a cat--the girl twisted her back legs unnaturally, head pushing forward and a canine-like snout forming. She pushed herself up from her position on the floor, turning to look at Raven with a crazed grin. Or at least what she could get of a grin from the snout she was sporting._

_"Who is my father?" She took a step forward, Raven taking a step back. "Do you really want to know?" She took yet another step forward, Raven taking a few retreating._

_Raven blinked. There was suddenly heavy pants being blown into her ear. Shivas' whole body froze--the panting kept on-- her eyes started to glaze over in unshed terrified tears._

_"I'll tell you and then-" The little girl--or what Raven had thought to be one--wrapped her hand around Raven's neck. "I'll kill you." She squeezed._

_Raven's breath--forced out of her lungs--came out in shaky rasps. She tried to hold onto the air, even tried to call for help, but soon realized that neither was going to be of any help. She lived in a shack, in the middle of nowhere. No help was coming._

_"N-no, pl-ahh! **Please!** " She was running out of air, there was absolutely no time! She needed help. She was **dying**! Help! HELP!  **Hel-**_

Raven shook her head. That was the day she had learned she couldn't die. She didn't need to remember the absolute terror of knowing you're going to die. Or in this case, dying and then coming back to life. 

Raven shook her head again. She'd officially had enough reminicing for one night. 

Taking in how she had stopped to stand in the unforgiving snow storm, Shiva shook her head for the third and final time,  before trudging on. Today just wasn't her day.

After about twenty minutes of walking through the worst weather she'd ever seen, Raven once again came to a stand still. 

The snow seemed to lighten up a bit, making it easier to see where she was going and who might be behind her. She quickly threw a calculating glare over her shoulder, silently confirming that none had decided to follow her to their own death. 

There were  _very_ few humans who still lived in the outside world. The ones that followed her were calling themselves  _Merlions--_ creatures with a lion's head and the bodies of fish. Why anyone would name their group of thieves that, she had no idea.  _  
_

"Come on.." Raven looked down at the compass she had hanging from her neck. She kept the clasp open constantly, not wanting to have to keep opening it every time she needed to make sure she was going the right way. 

Currently, the damn thing was content on being stuck--or frozen, red tip facing North. Zilas was West, so when she turned the complete opposite way and the needle still focused on the "North", it was blatantly obvious she was lost. 

"Dammit!" Her voice broke through the howling wind, cold and ancient. "Which way...which way..?"

Raven swept her gaze across the white page before her, sniffing the air to see if she could pick up the fast fading scent of human civilization. 

_To the left is West. Zilas is close._

Putting all her trust in her instincts--the one's she'd only begun to establish after her  _death_ \--Raven marched onward. 

The land she walked on wasn't much of a view for the next hour and a half she walked, it just showed as mild, _really mild,_ entertainment since she obviously had none. 

Through the murky air, Raven could see the beginnings of the old buildings that made up the city of Zilas. No titans were wandering around--if they were, it wouldn't of been a problem since Raven could just walk right through them and not get eaten--and she found herself grateful. All she needed now, all she  _wanted_ now, was food and sleep. That was all she needed. 

Reaching the first building always gave Shiva a sense of horrible deja-vu. Remembering her past life, her friends, her _family._ No, now was not the time. Actually, there was  _never_ going to be a time where she was going to remember her past willingly. She'd make sure of that.

Deciding that a stone building--she was almost absolutely positive that it used to be some kind of small store or candy shop--was good enough to be used as shelter for the night, Raven pushed open the wooden door that was surprisingly still attached. It creaked but still closed, leaving her to observe her temporary abode in silence. 

The walls, which were also made of stone, were covered in moss and the windows were cracked. One window in the back left corner was completely broken, slight gust of wind shaking the gray shudders that outlined it. There was a counter running through the middle of the room, a door made out of complete glass--which looked like it would shatter and kill someone if they were to even gently tap it--lead to what she assumed was a storage room. 

She dumped the bag of her small supplies--one she had carried all the way here--on the floor on the opposite side of the counter. The floor was dirty, but it was enough. It wasn't like Raven stayed in luxury hotels every night, anyway. Did those even  _exist_ anymore? 

Raven would raid the storage room tomorrow for anything useful, tonight was all about the sleep. 

She rolled out her sleeping bag--one she had found back when she was still in Siva--and practically collapsed on it, unzipping the side and snuggling into the fur coated inside. 

Now was sleep. Tomorrow she would worry about getting to the walls. 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, is it sad this took me six weeks? ^-^  
> It literally only took so long cuz you have all the time you need to make it perfect, and this is me posting a perfect (in my opinion) chapter that has been edited by my sister (she's a professional journalist) and my two beta's LittleBitchNi**a and ForeverEreriBitches. THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU GUYS! I know that now that this has been posted and it’s out there for everyone to see, that imma have to post things more frequently, but never fear! I will do what I can! And yes, the information on the Bevölkerung War will continue in the next chapter, I know how cutting off things can get confusing. Until next time,  
> ~Sempai
> 
> I'd be completely fine if you would please point out any mistakes! :3


End file.
